Monday, August 8, 2011

Playdates

I'm in mourning...

I took my 4 precious children along with 2 precious friends to an indoor petri dish of germs inflatable playland.  We haven't been in a couple of years, but I had groupons that needed to be used and it was the perfect activity for ALL the children - big and small, boy and girl. 

About 5 minutes upon arrival, it dawned on me...I was the only mommy there that wasn't with another mommy.  My kids still had their playdates but where was mine?  The thought completely took me by surprise and then left this little hole in my stomach.  My playdates are days of past.  Wonderful memories of a phase of life that is gone. 
When your first and even your second are itty-bitty, us moms live for playgroups and playdates.  They are our moments of sanity in a world that is full of dirty diapers, sleepless nights, choking hazards, growth charts and car seat safety.

(For those that might need clarity, playdates are mommies sitting in the middle of toy strewn rooms, oblivious to the noise, carrying on adult conversation over their 3rd cup of coffee.  We pretended we were getting our children together for their sake (like they really need to be socialized at 2), but every mommy knew the truth - these were OUR playdates.) 

Gone are the days when I turn my head and my 2 year old has done this...
 
We so gradually phased out from that stage of life and into the next that I never realized it was never coming back.  And that was 4 years ago!

My kids still have playdates.  But I don't anymore.  We use the kids playdates as an opportunity to run errands, grocery shop, clean or go to appointments.  I think we think we don't need them anymore.  But as I watched the mommies handing off their babies so they could run to the bathroom and overhearing mommies discussing what preschools they should send their precious babies too, or what recipes they make that their kids will eat, I realized that maybe, I need that mommy playdate every once in a while.   Because the mom handing off their baby is saying, "I trust you with my life."  The mom that is discussing preschools is unsure of what the future holds and only wants the best for her child.  The mom that is sharing recipes is inviting someone to share her life with.  All of these are invitations into her heart.

As my kids grew out of that baby and toddler and preschool age, I found I needed the help and the advice and the comfort from other moms less and less.  Maybe that isn't so good.  Maybe I need myself a good playdate!
So be-warned...if I invite your child over to play with one of mine, there is a good chance I'll be standing there with a cup of hot coffee for you!


(By the way...on the whole preschool thing...IT DOESN'T MATTER whether you put your child on a waiting list when she was conceived, or stood in line all night for registration or don't send them at all, your child will turn out just fine!) :)

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6

4 comments:

  1. ME ME ... pick ME! ALLLLLL my kids will be going off to school soon for the first time ... will you have a PLAYDATE with me? We'll pretend their are kids to watch if need be. You are SO SO right in this post. I sure miss those days of "pre-school" play dates and MOPS outings and more. Somehow, I have graduated from all those phases that sought out other Mommy's and have graduated to this new phase where i wear a TAXI cab sign on my car and run my kids from activity to activity. My "mom" time is the few minutes spent during each activity catching up and then before I know it, I'm off to the next activity. My radio has become my best friend, FB (sadly) my place to try and figure out if I'm alone in this reality and the wonderings of what the "next phase" will bring me ... and all the while hoping for what I once had. So well written, my sweet friend!

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  2. A couple of years ago some friends and I started an accountability group and we met every so often. We started off just getting together for our group and now we "meet" more often to go get coffee and just chit chat. It's great to have ladies you can trust to share your heart with and to have be honest with you on things that aren't so pretty.

    And thanks for your comment. I never know how I "sound" in this blogworld!

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  3. YES, YES, YES Cristie! And we'll go kidnap Shelly and all go to Carina's and have a real baby play date!!!! WOW, life has come full circle...and it's so incredibly beautiful!

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  4. I love you!!! Let's do a skype playdate, just us!!!!

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